


monachopsis

by eggbabie



Category: Gangsta. (Manga)
Genre: ?/?/?? what do i tag this as lmao, Other, Thinking, Walking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:50:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4667186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggbabie/pseuds/eggbabie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the subtle persisting sense of being out of place</p>
            </blockquote>





	monachopsis

there's a sick feeling in your stomach as you walk down the street, footsteps silent and breath quiet, trying your very hardest not to make a single noise because you know if you're found, you're dead.

it won't matter that you're barely older than a elementary schooler. it won't matter that you can clearly count your own ribs without much trouble. it won't matter that you can't even hear your attackers coming.

none of it will matter. one slip up, and you're dead.

in some ways, you hate it. you hate having to constantly be on edge, constantly looking over your shoulder, constantly wondering _'is this going to be the day i die?'_

in other ways, though, you love it. you live for it. you love watching the light fade from the eyes of someone who tried to hurt you. you love the money you get from a job done successfully. you love sleeping in a warm bed after countless nights on the street.

you flip the collar up on your jacket, tightening your grip on the katana hanging from your hip.

you wonder what life would be like if you weren't a twilight. if you hadn't been working at the arcangelo estate when you were, would you still be the same person? would you still crave a fight? would you still love the feeling of breaking bones?

you weren't really sure. for all you knew, you could have been a wildly successful person working in the police department. you could have risen through the ranks there, instead of taking odd jobs that no one else wanted to do.

no. none of that would have happened. you were too volatile, too unpredictable. you would have been kicked out long before you could leave any impression other than _troublemaker._

this was your life now. you'd just have to suck it up and deal with it.

and you do. you have to. because you were born a twilight, born to die before you ever started living, really, and you would have to deal with it however you could.

and if fighting was how you coped, who could blame you for always trying to pick one?

**Author's Note:**

> i lov this style so much honestly... i lov it.....
> 
> but thank you so much for reading!!! im gonna try to update this every sunday but school is gonna be starting soon so the schedule might change lmao,,,
> 
> anyway;;; if u wanna reach me im at yachipng.tumblr.com!!! thank you again for reading!


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